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Love Labyrinth
~Trigger Warning~
Spotting unhealthy relationship can be difficult. Often times we do not see it ourselves and others may not be aware that an unhealthy relationship can look like this. See how gaslighting and intimidation tactics can trap a person in a web of confusion. If you are or if you know someone who is in this type of unhealthy relationship. Please reach out to us or seek help. You or anyone you know should ever go through a situation like this where they felt stuck.
Exercise for Self-Reflection
I am a magnet for meaningful relationships.
People are attracted to me because I am a strong and independent individual with a healthy self-esteem. When I am comfortable with the person I am, I allow others to feel at ease around me.
I have realistic expectations of my friends and myself. I accept others just the way they are, without judgment. In order to have meaningful friendships, I must first be a good friend myself. Then, in return, others respect me and accept me for who I am.
My positive attitude makes me a pleasure to be around. I guard my speech to ensure that it is free from judgment and negativity, and full of laughter. Time spent with me is refreshing and peaceful.
My friends talk to me about things of substance because they know I am trustworthy. I treat my relationships like a flower, nurturing them and giving them time to blossom.
I cultivate my friendships by seeking out my friends through phone calls and invitations to connect. Spending quality time together draws us closer and reaffirms our bonds.
I deserve to have meaningful relationships and enjoy the company of others. My friends and I need each other to share gifts and talents that are unique to each one of us. Meaningful relationships are a balance of give and take.
Today, I chose to strengthen my relationships by wrapping myself in positivity and practicing acceptance. I am confident in the person I am and I attract others by expressing my true heart.
Self-Reflection Questions:
1. Do I have realistic expectations of others and myself?
2. What can I do to seek out new friends or reconnect with old pals?
3. Who is one of my most meaningful friends?
That’s not love
This video shows how “Because I love you” can be misused in unhealthy relationships. Understand the difference.
What Will You Do When Your Partner Gaslights You?
How can you protect yourself if you feel like you’re being undermined?
Try these suggestions for steps to take by yourself and with your partner to change the way you communicate.
Steps to Take by Yourself:
1. Spot the signs. Gaslighting can involve many different kinds of behavior. Your partner may make false accusations or tell you that you’re overreacting. They may distort reality and challenge your faith in yourself.
2. Accept your feelings. It’s important to remember that your emotions are natural and valid, especially if your partner tends to dismiss them. Practice 1 observing and identifying your feelings without making judgements.
3. Gather documentation. If you think your partner is frequently inaccurate or deceptive, keep track of events yourself. You may want to write in a journal or save text messages and other communications.
4. Stay connected. Does your partner try to isolate you from family and friends? Maintain regular contact so you’ll have a strong support network.
5. Evaluate your options. You need to decide if any relationship is healthy for you. Your partner may be willing and able to change. Otherwise, think about what you want for your future.
6. Build your confidence. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Review your achievements and set meaningful goals. Stand up tall and smile.
Steps to Take with Your Partner:
1. Address the issue. Let your partner know when you feel like you’re being treated unfairly. Advocate for yourself directly and respectfully. State your position and stand firm.
2. Slow down. You’ll be more effective if you can stay calm. Pause if you need time to consider your response. Speak slowly and quietly.
3. Set limits. Your partner may become defensive or try to change the subject. Tell them that you need to resolve this issue. Try to set healthy boundaries and negotiate conditions that will help both of you to feel understood. 2
4. Apologize selectively. Do you apologize just to avoid conflicts? Train yourself to save your regrets for situations where you really are at fault. Be consistent so your partner will know what to expect.
5. Act independently. Gaslighting usually occurs when one partner feels significantly less powerful than the other. In reality, you are probably more capable than you think. Take control of your life by strengthening your finances and developing greater resilience.
6. Show empathy. It may help to know that gaslighting says more about your partner than it does about you. It could be the only way they know how to deal with stress or a way to hide their own insecurities. You can love them without approving of their behavior.
7. Seek counseling. A therapist who specializes in relationships may be able to help you turn things around. Invite your partner to join you or go on your own