walking away from the man I loved

Walking away from the man I loved was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I walked away to save myself.

It was absolute push and pull. I knew his pain and I wanted to love him and make him feel safe, as he was crushing me. I was caught in a trauma bond. An addiction that was baffling to everyone who knew the strong, self-aware, independant woman I had always been.

-2022, Jennymelva

Bypassing

I can see clearly now

I’ve been there

the wounds?

I can’t seem to get through to you

How can I begin to express myself?

Every word, every emotion is a bypass

Toxic and self-inflicting

I sit here alone, staring at the wall

days, weeks, and months pass by

wasting away, wasting away

you say to stay in the present, but are you?

don’t give away unless you’ve been there

don’t give it away unless you have moved through it

isn’t that hypocrisy? a lie?

most importantly a lie to yourself?

using terms to get by

words that you claim you live by

I see it clearly now

it’s toxic

I know better now

it’s not me, it’s you

-Spiritual bypassing

-Jennymelva